And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
