i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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