well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
