At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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