clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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