This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
