I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
