The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
