Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
