I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
