I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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