I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
