Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
