Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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