so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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