after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
