I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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