he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
