Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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