Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
