I'm gonna have a badass scar
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
