Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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