he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
