If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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