I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
