I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
