Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
