And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
