honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize