i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
