Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
