How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
