it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
