i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
