The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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