I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Vodka?
Forever.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
