I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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