I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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