so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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