FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
