even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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