trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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