I need to stop coming to work sober
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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