Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
