Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
