Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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