My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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