Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
