Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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