When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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