if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
