Define "chronic" masturbator.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
