I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
