Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I believe in your delicious
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
