why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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