So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
