No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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