It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
