Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
