Can Purell be used as lube?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
