he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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