are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
