You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize