No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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