I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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