plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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